I don't really mention to people if I am stressed or worried as I feel like if I did I am just passing my problems onto them. That is why I want to blog about it. I may feel better writing about it (even if no one is reading) then storing all of it inside.
I left school last year and have been enrolled on a course in college. This meant making new friends, however, my best friend also enrolled on this course, which meant that I wasn't alone so I didn't make the effort of talking to new people. This was something I regretted as it meant I only had one real friend on the course.
What also didn't help was that we were the only girls on the course. Im not saying that I can't be friends with boys or anything, but it made me feel quite isolated from the rest of the class as they would have conversations about things that wouldn't interest me, or wouldn't exactly make the effort to include us into their conversation. After having a few months of this, we ended up just sticking to ourselves, which wasn't bad, but it meant that I made no new friends.
Now that I have left that course and will be started a new one in just a few days, I have been worried, but also excited about making new friends. I feel like I have no clue how to do this as it's been years since I have really been in that position where Ive had to make friends. And now that I am in that position, I feel like I can't remember how to talk to people or if I do I will make an embarrassment out of myself.
However, it made me realise that the majority of people on this course will be in the exact same 'boat' as I am, and will also try make the effort to talk to people. This put me at ease but I am still very nervous.
I am not a very confident person, which if you read my post - "Inhale Courage...Exhale Fear" - you will know. So talking to people is something I struggle a lot with. I am guessing I am not the only one who struggles as it is something that is quite nerve-wracking, especially if you will be with these people for awhile, so first impressions are quite important!
The other day I had enrolment, which was the first time I met the people that would be on my course. Nervous was an understatement. I even woke up before my alarm, that's saying something as I never wake before my alarm goes of. Anyway, as soon as I opened my eyes I felt instantly sick. I didn't realise how worried I was until that morning as before I would just ignore any nervous feeling I got. But now I had to face them...
All morning I had this sick feeling and when it was time to go I felt like I couldn't breathe properly as I would get a flush of worry go through me. I didn't even tell my best friend how worried I was as I knew she was also worried so I didn't want her to feel worse, so I just kept to myself.
I kept thinking that if I don't talk to anyone now, then I will never have friends. Thinking this didn't help as its not true at all and just made me more stressed and worried. But I did it! I spoke to people that I had never met before. I just plucked up the courage and involved myself into these two girls conversation. Knowing that I have spoke to people is making me much happier about starting the new year in just a few days and I don't feel so worried about not having anyone to talk to.
Advice I found worked:
Talk to someone if you are worried - The person your telling has probably had to make friends with a group of people they don't know, so they will have some advice which they can give you.
Don't wait for someone to start the conversation - This is probably the worse thing possible as they are going to be as nervous as you are and may be waiting for you to start the conversation. Don't be afraid to say something first as it could make a huge difference.
Be yourself! - Don't try and act differently to impress, otherwise they will become friends with someone you are not. Just be honest about who you are.
These are my three tips/advice when wanting to make friends, whats yours? If you have anymore advice leave a comment so that if someone reads this, it may help them!
Until next time...